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04/08/2009: "from The Stranger"

People Who Claim to Be Afraid of Clowns

These people (and they are numerous) are attempting to cultivate a cute quirk,
but they are really just aping a cute quirk cultivated by thousands of cute-quirk-cultivators
before them in a giant, gross, boring feedback loop. Yes, clowns can be mildly creepy.
But come on. Among the many things that are scarier than clowns: fire, earthquakes,
a guy with a knife, riding the bus, colon cancer, falling down the stairs (it could happen
at any time!), rapists, people who just kind of look a little rapey and are standing
too close to you in line at 7-Eleven, Marlo from The Wire, influenza, and scissors.